Why this had to happen in order for me to really understand how much I really love you?

  I have asked myself this question many times.  As i search deep within me, I find it disturbing to realize that I haven’t always valued you, and now this empty, and lonely apartment is burning my heart as if with a branding iron, and my mind is flooded with painful loneliness.

Today when I came back to our place, I saw your clothes and your shoes as you left them, and an overwhelming feeling of suffocation invaded me. I miss you so much!

 In an attempt to calm my pain I rushed to your drawer and frantically grabbed the bottle of your favorite perfume and breathed in that sweet and adorable fragrance. In an instant it transported me to the past, it almost seemed as if it was the present. I could hear your laughter and feel your loving embrace, but it was not real, it was all a trick of my mind sparked by that smell so yours.

It is now evident to me that I have taken you for granted, my dearly beloved. I didn’t  always comprehend that in an instant, all the goodness that comes with you, could be gone for ever. It never occurred to me that one day I could lose you, as it happened today.